Today's random SVH mention that I didn't see coming?

Chapter 33 of Letters to Kurt contains this:

Sweet Valley Highjacked, where most girls are Elizabeths who want to be Jessicas.

Boy Trouble
January 1990


Patty's life is falling apart.
Can Elizabeth help?



  Boy Trouble, or, the book that took forever to recap because life got in the way! Yeah, we'll go with Boy Trouble. Less tricky to pronounce. :p
   Don't let the cover fool you; Elizabeth Wakefield is barely a supporting character in this tale. Jessica, on the other hand, is our comedic b-story, but that would take away from the pain and anguish poor Patty is emoting on the cover. Or something.
  Patty Gilbert's thrilled. Her boyfriend, Jim Hollis, is finally coming for a visit after three long weeks of studying up at Pacific College, where he's a freshman. Unfortunately for her, her older sister, Jana, chooses that same weekend to descend upon the family with a big surprise. Since Patty hasn't seen her sister in six months, she tries to call Jim to see if he can visit the following weekend instead. Only Jim isn't answering his phone. Ever. Patty's a little worried by this, but tries to tell herself it's perfectly natural for someone not to answer their phone at midnight on a Thursday. Given the number of drunk people who race across the road every Thursday on my way to work, I'll say nothing further about the subject.

   Jim arrives in the Valley and for one moment everything is perfect. They kiss and talk cute and both are just so happy to see one another that this couldn't possibly explode in their faces, right? Riiiiiight.
  When Patty drops the news about Jana, Jim does what every thoughtful and considerate boyfriend would do. He gracefully bows out of the weekend's plans and decides to spend quality time with his family, or perhaps just chill at the beach with any of his remaining SV friends. No? Okay, then he points out that since he and Patty have been dating for two years, obviously the Gilberts wouldn't mind him joining in on the family activities once Patty knows what they are. No?
  No.

  Instead, Jim reacts as if Patty has just run over his foot and told him to walk it off. "But I drove two hours after cramming for a calculus test!" and other such facts are thrown about. Dude. Go take a nap or something. Instead he lays into his girlfriend for wanting to spend time with her sister. Nice, Hollis. Real nice. In return, Patty jumps to the most obvious conclusion: he's picking a fight with her because he's cheating and wants to get back to PC so he can score with girls who are not his girlfriend. You bastard!
   Yeah. Jim doesn't see that one coming and the two end up breaking up then and there. Awkward. On the drive home, Patty debates turning around and admitting that she obviously took twice the legal limit of crazy this morning and perhaps they should discuss things like the adults they so obviously fancy themselves to be. Instead she decides to let them cool off and resume the fight at a later time. Besides, Jana's home and ohmygosh, this couldn't possibly go wrong in any way, right?!
  Why do you keep jinxing yourself, woman?

   Jana's home alright. And she's brought Ted with her. Ted? Ted. Ted is Jana's fiancé . Surprise!
  Patty reacts the way most of us would. "Wait, last I heard you weren't even dating anyone. Are you knocked up?" Well, fine, she doesn't say that last part, but the first part is definitely thought. Then Patty pastes a smile on her face and tries to summon up some happy for her sister because marriage is a big deal.
  But wait, there's more! Jana's getting married in two weeks! Surprise!
  And then she and Ted are moving to West Germany! Trifecta of surprises!

   Patty is a bit stunned by this, and I don't blame her. On a good day, this would be enough to put me in a bit of a funk because you're losing your sister (that's how it'll feel, anyway) and having to plan a wedding in an extraordinarily short time. But remember, Patty isn't having a good day. Her day sucks because she and her longtime boyfriend just broke up... and now she'll be hearing nothing but wedding talk. Congratulations, Patty, I think this qualifies as a level of hell. Enjoy your stay.
  Sadly, Patty doesn't use her one drama queen for a day card at the start of this whole mess, by bursting into tears and having someone say, it's not that bad, we'll still talk on the phone and then she could blurt out the whole Jim situation and bam! Crises averted. But no, that would make the book too short, so instead she reacts as a mature adult and represses her true feelings, figuring that she'll have time to talk to Jana later.
   Fool.

  B-story time! Jessica Wakefield is tired of the same old boys, the same old scene, the same old thing. She's tired of the beach (yawn, another beach cookout for another former boy toy's birthday), she's tired of the boring boys who go to boring old Sweet Valley High... so she winds up at a Crafts Fair at the mall, looking for something, or someone, different. Instead she finds a bunch of old hippies and she is not impressed. Shopping wise though, things have gone well. She runs into DeeDee Gordon who begs her to watch over her t-shirt booth while DeeDee runs to get lunch and something to drink. Jessica reluctantly agrees, since she's not in a massive hurry to admit defeat and head over to the beach party.
   While manning DeeDee's booth, Jessica makes eye contact with a seriously handsome twenty-something guy. He makes his way over to 'her' booth and the two flirt up a storm. Well, at least Jessica thinks they're flirting. Vincent seems to be interested in DeeDee's shirts, but naturally assumes Jessica's the artist he wants. Jessica doesn't correct him, figuring he won't care one way or another since she's Jessica Wakefield and once he's had a chance to date her, who'd even remember some painted t-shirts at a crafts fair?
  Vincent promises to call her and Jessica is sure he will. And he does. Eventually. He says he wants Jessica to meet his partner, Cassie, and they can hammer out the details concerning selling her shirts in their store. Jessica figures they're painted shirts, how hard can it be?
   Based on the shocked reactions that greet her (and her own frank admission that they're awful), pretty hard. Turns out Vincent really did want the shirts and not a date with Jessica (shocker!) and while Cassie does try to let Jessica down easy, Vincent wants the name of the real artist. He then calls DeeDee who is over the moon at having her artwork recognized as good enough to sell. Aww, DeeDee. If only I cared more about you, I'd be touched.


  Back to Patty's predicament. DeeDee decides that Patty should get out of the house and invites her to the movies with Bill and Bill's friend Craig. Patty reluctantly agrees and I have to admit that Craig is actually amusing and I wish he'd pop up again. Who knew that was possible? Anyway, they all head to the movies and of course it's a love story (DeeDee, we need to talk about your friendship status...) and by the end of the film, Patty has decided she can work things out with Jim. Unfortunately, the lights go up and Patty sees Jim... with another girl.
   Also? Jim totally sees Craig with his arm around Patty. Not good. When Jim calls to explain that the girl he was with is his cousin (in town for the crafts fair), Patty blows up and tells him to go fuck himself. Nice, Gilbert.
  Depressed, Patty isn't exactly in the mood for her interview with Elizabeth. Liz is starting this new column called Personal Profiles, which is a spotlight on a senior at SVH. Patty is their first star. I do have to take a minute to bitch that Liz and her friends act like it's going to be super hard to do PP and Eyes & Ears at the same time. Really? I ain't buying that from Serious Reporter Elizabeth Wakefield, so stop it right now.
   Anyway, Liz invites Patty over to talk, off the record, and points out that she's a good listener, even though thus far she hasn't exactly proven that to be true this book. Whatever, Patty goes and the two discuss Jim, Jana, and how Patty wouldn't be able to limit herself to an hour a weekend by the pool. I'm with you, Patty.
  Liz convinces Patty that it's possible Jim's 'date' was simply a friend, like Craig was just a friend of Bill's and not an actual movie date. Patty agrees and drives by his house after leaving Elizabeth's. But there he is, playing Frisbee on the front lawn with his cousin. How dare he?! Patty speeds by and is most upset.
   Eventually Patty tells Jana that maybe if she spent a little less time stressing about a wedding she chose to orchestrate in less than two weeks and a little more time on the fact that Patty is clearly unhappy, maybe she wouldn't a colossal bitch of a sister. Jana fires back that Patty's been this incredibly awful sister for not being thrilled to help plan things in minute detail. The two are not speaking to one another at all by the weekend before the wedding. Oops.

  The deep freeze continues until Jana makes a scheduling mistake and needs Patty to drive her to the bridal shop for her dress fitting. Patty agrees to drive her, but when they arrive at the store, Jana then wants Patty to come in with her. Again, Patty agrees, but makes Jana promise to be quick. Yeah, that's not gonna happen, Patty.
   Doesn't matter because this is a set-up so that Patty will take one look at Jana in her wedding dress and start to thaw. Patty realizes that she should be there for Jana at her wedding and they've got such a short time left that they shouldn't be fighting... assuming Jana apologizes first. And she does. Aww, the two make-up and go home to really discuss the break-up between Jim and Patty. By now Patty knows the girl was Jim's cousin (Jessica bought some earrings from her, Liz admired the earrings and found out the true identity of the mystery girl, and quickly headed over to Patty's house to deliver the news.) but he won't answer any of her calls, so obviously he's avoiding her even though this is well before caller ID. SIGH. But Patty did write this really heartfelt letter she's been too chicken to send. Jana gets an idea...
  Turns out Jim is on some special class trip for his geology course and is in the mountains without any contact with the outside world really. Jana sends Patty's letter to him and includes a note of her own, asking him to call her when he gets the letter. He does and a Plan is made.

  Wedding day! Everyone is all teary and happy and blah, blah, blah. While walking down the aisle, Patty spies her boyfriend (ex?) standing at the end of the second row of pews in the church. Jim! He kisses her on the cheek and later, at the reception we find out that Ted, who'd previously disappeared from his own wedding rehearsal dinner, prompting Patty to wonder about him, drove out to pick Jim up so he could surprise Patty at the wedding. The two make up and not a word is said about Jim's insane blow-up that prompted this whole mess.
   Aww?

  The book ends with Jessica bemoaning the lack of interesting guys in SV. Next up?
What kind of scheme does Jessica have planned to meet the boy of her dreams? Find out in Sweet Valley High #62, Who's Who?


Trivia:

• Liz has a new column: Personal Profiles. It centers on one senior and details their plans for the future as well as highlighting some of their memorable experiences at SVH.


• Patty Gilbert is the first person up to be interviewed for PP. She's got dark, almond eyes and long black hair.


• Jessica's best friends are apparently Lila and Amy with no mention of Cara whatsoever. Sad face.


• There's a Crafts Fair at the Mall over the weekend. One of DeeDee's friends from her design class at the Civics Center was supposed to help her run her booth, but they came down with the flu.


• DeeDee brings 20 shirts to the Crafts Fair.


• The Crafts Fair starts at noon, but all the vendors must arrive an hour earlier to set up. Poor DeeDee has one of the outside booths in the mall parking lot.


• Jim Hollis is Patty's boyfriend. He's a freshman at Pacific College.


• Pacific College is two hours north of SV.


• Most of Patty's plans for Jim's visit seem to include food, including a picnic at the beach and a romantic dinner.


• Jim has a calculus test Friday.


• Much is made about the fact that Jim hasn't been home in three weeks and hasn't been calling as much. Bad form, Hollis.


• Also bad form? Liz says, "I thought you two got together every weekend" mere minutes after DeeDee told her this hadn't been true for the past three weeks. Liz, learn to listen!


• Patty is supposed to visit Liz at home 7pm Sunday evening for her PP interview.


• Patty writes this info on her notebook cover as a reminder and I immediately suffer flashbacks to middle and high school.


• Patty takes the bus to dance class at the Modern Dance Academy. The bus stop, at the corner of Ocean Avenue and Ridgeview, is three blocks from her home.


• Mrs. Gilbert drives a Buick and works at a computer consulting firm.


• Jana Gilbert, 21, is Patty's older sister. She lives in San Francisco, where she has a job at Bay Area Environmental Coalition, a non profit environmental organization, and drives a blue VW. She hasn't been home in six months.


• There's a palm tree outside Patty's bedroom window.


• Patty plans to follow Jim to Pacific College, where she'll study liberal arts and major in dance.


• When Jim gets back to town, he calls Patty and DeeDee's house.


• Jim's house on Orchard Road is a stucco ranch design.


• Orchard Road seems to intersect Ocean Avenue. For those of you making a map at home, that is.


• Jim gets inexplicably angry when Patty tells him that Jana is in town and that their couple weekend is going to be massively downgraded. While I can understand why he'd be upset at the plans changing, given the fact that Jana seems to seriously think Patty/Jim are one day going to get married themselves, it makes no sense to not invite him along for part of the surprise weekend. In any case, dude goes OFF and it's never explained why he's so pissed off.


• Patty accuses Jim of cheating.


• Ted Brewster is Jana's fiancé . He's a tall, broad shouldered, handsome black man who drives a sports car and is in the Air Force. He's originally from Philadelphia, where his mother, Martha, is a second grade teacher and his father is the principal of an elementary school. He's an only child. He graduated from the University of Pennsylvania and in three weeks he will be transfered to an Air Force base in West Germany.


• That's right, Jana and Ted have two weeks to plan their wedding. Surprise!


• Mr. Gilbert courted his bride-to-be by visiting her every Sunday for two years, sitting in the parlor room with her parents as chaperons. Mr. and Mrs. Gilbert say it was decidedly not love at first sight.


• The wedding reception will be held at the Gilbert's home and Jana wants Reverend Jacobsen to officiate.


• Jana's wedding dress is coming from Elaine's Bridals.


• Bill is out surfing with a friend of his, Craig McCaffrey.


• Alert the media: Jessica Wakefield is bored with the beach scene. Not even a cookout on the beach in honor of Aaron's birthday can cheer her up.


• DeeDee informs a customer that all of her t-shirts are large because people like to wear them big. Customer agrees and shells out money that even Jess finds a little pricey.


• By 1pm, DeeDee has sold six shirts already. Her system for keeping track of the shirts is fairly simple. Each shirt is priced and marked with a number so that when one is sold, DeeDee writes it down in a book to keep track of which styles went first. By the end of the day she's sold 19 shirts.


• Vincent Deleno, 20, is the co-owner of Blue Parrot Crafts. He's got longish black hair, sexy brown eyes, and is rugged and romantic. When Jessica first sees him, she thinks he's an Italian director or maybe a famous artist.


• Blue Parrots Crafts sells handmade pottery and glass, as well as unique women's clothing and accessories.


• Normally, Patty eats 2-3 slices of pizza from Guido's.


• Patty's studied all kinds of dance, including ballet, but says she prefers modern and jazz.


• After the disaster at the movie theatre, where Jim thought Patty was dating Craig and Patty thought Jim was dating his cousin, Jim calls to explain his side but Patty goes off on him, hanging up before he can say much of anything at all.


• Patty's usual Sunday breakfast includes bacon, eggs, and cinnamon coffee cake.


• The phone in Patty's room is beige. Ah, memories.


• Liz loves fresh pineapple and tries to allot herself at least one hour by the pool every Sunday.


• Patty's bridesmaid dress is from Bibi's. It's cornflower blue with tiny white flowers, a scooped neckline, and little puff sleeves.


• Alice Wakefield usually works til 6pm.


• The Wakefield's kitchen phone cord reaches all the way to the dining room.


• Mr. Gilbert is left in charge of the wine and champagne at the reception.


• Aunt Marlene is throwing Jana a bridal shower, and cousin Tracy (a junior at SVH) is tapped to be Jana's maid of honor when Patty and Jana blow up at one another. Tracy doesn't mind stepping down when the sisters make up.


• Jim Daley asks Jessica out for Friday night and she turns him down.


• DeeDee buys her fabric paint at Ferriter's Design Supply on Main Street.


• Patty doesn't have dance class on Wednesdays.


• Jana's problems: The caterers need the menu and a headcount by the day after tomorrow, the florist can't get gerber daisies for the centerpieces, and she has to hire an organist to play during the ceremony because one is not included in the church. *


• Jess ditches cheerleading practice to meet with Vincent and Cassie at Blue Parrot. Robin runs practice.


• After the disastrous meeting, Vincent calls DeeDee and offers her the same opportunity he offered Jessica when he thought she was the artist. DeeDee flips out at her designs being sold in a real store.


• Jana seems to consider DeeDee a part of their extended family and this gives me warm fuzzies.


• When Jana makes up her mind to do something, she does it. Case in point, getting Jim and Patty back together.


• Jim went to the mountains for two weeks for a geology course. His mother suggests sending a letter care of general delivery at the local Post Office.


• Ted's family makes it to SV Thursday and the Gilberts invite them over to dinner. This is the first time they've met Jana. The Brewsters are hosting the rehearsal dinner at the Valley Inn, which Liz remembers as the last place Jeffrey took her when they were dating. *sniffle*


• Ted's best man is Marshall Borden, an Air Force buddy.


• Patty and Jim's two year anniversary was a "a few months ago" at the Valley Inn.


• Ted disappears after Marshall's toast and only Patty seems to notice or care.


• Jana is set to walk down the aisle at 11:30AM, but they're still home at 11AM.


• Jana feels like getting married is that magical step that will turn her into a grown-up.


• Patty's Maid of Honor gift is a gold chain with a pearl pendant.


• The florists forgot to bring the men's boutonnières.


• Patty doesn't get nervous when she dances in front of an audience, but she is nervous to walk down the aisle during her sister's wedding. Oddly enough, I of the terrible stage fright (and complete fear of public speaking), had no problem heading down the aisle at my friend's wedding.


• While walking down the aisle, Patty sees a tall, handsome young man in a gray suit, standing at the end of the second row of pews. Jim! Just before she stands at the front of the church to await Jana's entrance, Jim kisses Patty on the cheek. I may have aww'd at this moment.


• Patty's whole family was in on the plot to reunite Jim and Patty. Aww and again I say they'd have been fine with Jim taking part of some of the weekend fun when Jana first arrived!


• When DeeDee asked Jessica about Vincent's offer, Jessica pretended she'd simply forgotten the conversation, not that she'd tried to swoop in and date Vincent.

Quotes:
   One thing was for sure: They needed this weekend together if their romance was going to survive. - Three weeks, guys. That's all I'm sayin'. p7

  "I'll never forget the first time I saw him. He was wearing his uniform, and he looked like something out of a movie. An Officer and a Gentlemen, you know?"
  Patty nodded. She didn't think he was that handsome, but there was no need to upset Jana. - Because upsetting her will come later. p33/34

   "This way I'll be standing at the altar to prompt you. I could even hold cue cards if you want."
  Jana giggled and rolled her eyes. "I think I can manage 'I do.'" - Patty/Jana, p35



  "You must be starving after that brutal cheerleading practice," Elizabeth joked, rummaging in her book bag for the keys. - Geez, Liz, don't be such a cheer-hater. Given the comments characters have made over the series, I'd say Jess probably is hungry after working her ass off for the last hour or so. Shove it, middle Wakefield. p135

   "Dad, I'm so nervous," Patty whispered as they stood in the back of the church, listening to the organist's prelude.
   "Me, too," Mr. Gilbert admitted, smoothing the lapels of his morning coat. "I've never been the father of the bride before." p 143



Fashion File:
  Jessica emerged from her bedroom. She frowned down at Elizabeth, who was wearing shorts and an oversize t-shirt over her new powder blue bathing suit. - p41

   She wove her way among the lunch tables, her mint-green jersey miniskirt swinging against her slim, tanned legs. - Jessica always dresses to kill? p91

  Five minutes later she reemerged into the now empty hallway. Instead of the bright blue tank top and stone-washed miniskirt she had worn to school, Jessica had changed into a boxy, wheat-colored linen jacket and matching knee-length skirt that she had smuggled out of Elizabeth's closet that morning. The jacket sleeves could be rolled up slightly, and with a lacy camisole, her new earrings, and her hair loose, Jessica thought she looked artsy, sophisticated... and entirely irresistible. - p123


* Jana, we need to talk. These aren't problems enough to push you over the edge. Having to guard the wedding cake because you don't want the bride's little sister to destroy it after she feels ignored all day while trying not to make the bride feel like she's being ignored? Yeah. That's a problem. Yours are just part of the whole "getting married in two weeks, yay!" thing.


(on the right, hardback)

   Sooo... this took forever. 2011 sucked. My computer died a couple of weeks ago which wiped out my review of this as well as my picture folders (noooooooooo) and... yeah. Mostly 2011 sucked and this year wasn't really off to a great start either. :/

  That aside, Boy Trouble isn't actually a bad book. I like the way it's written, and I'll try not to hold the miscommunication against anyone for long because there's no point in it. Patty's justifiably upset at the people in her life, but she's not overly obnoxious about it. She's able to be happy for DeeDee when things are going well in her life while Patty's still broken up over Jim and Jana's non-stop wedding chatter. She realizes she should be happy for Jana and does try, though apparently it's easy to see through her although NO ONE asks her about it at home. That's a little odd, truthfully.
  Jessica's B-story is fun and isn't drawn out too long, either. She gets called out on her scheme but still manages to avoid outright humiliation, and it serves as a nice set-up for the next book.
  Overall, it's one of the better written books and is fairly believable at times, plus I love the way Jana and Patty tease one another. Also? Craig is love.

  So... last week my computer died. I'm not even sure a professional could wrestle the contents of it away from it's rapidly decomposing corpse, though I may see about it in the future. I wasn't caught completely off-guard, but enough so that basically the only thing that made it to the lifeboats were my digital camera pictures. I didn't worry too much because I thought I'd backed up my Sweet Valley folder a few times already on various discs.

  Apparently I thought wrong. So all the book covers I'd acquired over the years? Gone. Poof! The snark that would not snark properly I was actually about halfway through and would've posted by now? Also gone, poof! Ditto the old ones and the various things I'd tinkered with, just waiting for the right time to make use of them (like the mini books that came with the dolls)... all gone, unless there's some miracle disc waiting in my room. Thing is, I'm not counting on that.

  We're currently up to #61, Boy Trouble. I don't really recall there being that many variations of it outside the hardback/original cover (y'know, I don't recall seeing a revised version of this one either. Hmm), but if you're wanting to share anything, I would quite happily accept. This goes for anything beyond this book as well.

Until then, I'm going to have to re-find the notebook o' trivia and begin from the beginning once more. Oh, the humanity of it all! :P

On the plus side, I'm not dead.

No, seriously. That's a plus side for someone, right?

Deadly Summer
July 1989


Revenge...

  Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield are working as summer interns at The Sweet Valley News when they hear that a patient has escaped from a nearby psychiatric hospital. Assigned to research the man's past for an article, the twins discover that Donald Redman was once a student at Sweet Valley High.
   They learn that his fellow students tormented him and that after a disturbing incident involving one of those students, Redman was expelled. He vowed to get revenge for his humiliation.
  Now a fugitive, Redman sees Elizabeth and mistakes her for the popular, beautiful girl who hurt him most all those years ago. When their paths cross in the deserted high school stadium, he knows he finally has his chance to get even! Can he be stopped before it's too late?



   Somehow during my travels I missed 'capping this one. I suspect it's because my copy of Lost at Sea doesn't tell me to go and read it despite it being the next book in the series. Feh. Also, I think I read it at the right time and just... never worked my magic for some reason. *muse* Anyway, we slide back in time a little bit and head back to the newsroom once more for Deadly Summer.

  The book kicks off with the summer of the Newsroom coming to a close. Lila's jetted off to London with her father (GEORGE, Francine. GEORGE.) and returned, Lizbeth and Enid are doing their reverse snobbery towards Lila and Jessica, and, oh yes, this is before Toddles came back, so Liz and Jeffrey are still together. Except he's still at camp and sending her letters, but still. They are together.
   So, when Lila returns from London, she brings with her a Ouija board because they're "all the rage" in London, dontcha know. Personally, I love that Lila and Jessica sort of believe in this stuff enough to give it a whirl, while Liz is too much of a stick in the mud to even give it the benefit of the doubt. In fact, Liz is openly surprised that Lila, someone she considers a bit above it all, would waste her time. She makes a comment to that effect (only I believe the words "smarter than that", that being Jessica, btw, were used) and Lila gets pissed right the hell off. She stalks off and everyone else makes that same uncomfortable "...so..." face that you do when one of your group completely loses their damn mind. Good, good times. Doesn't matter. Liz and Enid discuss Jeffrey's latest letter, debating what this "surprise" he's hinting about could possibly be. (Any and all who haven't read the book and still guess "He's coming back early!" you may move to the head of the line for your prize. It's a little pin that says, "I'm smarter than the smart twin.")
  Lila returns, sits for a couple of minutes, and then decides she's done with this popstand. So she grabs Jessica, who is spending the night, and they make their dramatic exit. (Jessica, for some reason, keeps saying y'all. Was this a thing back then or is our ghosty a newbie?) All the way home, Lila is huffing and puffing about how upset she is and how she doesn't want to talk about it, which of course means she waits three seconds for Jessica to ask, and then she unloads. How dare that holier than thou Elizabeth Wakefield dare call her stupid in front of all their friends? Why's she always got a stick rammed up her ass, and why does she feel the need to assume that her point of view is the only valid one in the entire godforsaken series? For crying out loud, doesn't it just get on your last damn nerve, Jessica?
   Jessica, true to form, isn't exactly listening. She's debating the merits of painting her nails one vibrant, summery shade, or painting each nail a different hue. (Mine are currently sporting the latter look, but it was an Easter/trial and error thing.) Eventually she checks back into the conversation because she can tell that Lila is plotting something fun. And boy, is she. She decides that she and Jessica need to teach Elizabeth a lesson. They're going to make Elizabeth go from non-believer to psychic adviser junkie in no time flat. And the best way to do that is, of course, trickery. It's very simple. They'll have the Ouija board make a prediction so completely out of left field that Elizabeth will naturally be skeptical. And then it will come true!
  That's great and all, Fowler, but how exactly do you propose they do that?
   Simple. Lila knows for a fact that the big end of the summer concert that's scheduled for that weekend is being postponed. The board will tell them this, Liz will scoff, it'll be true, and Liz will be hooked. An adorable moment of Jess being ticked that Lila knew this for 24 hours and didn't tell her already passes, and then Jessica decides that nothing is better than a Lila scheme, so she's in.

  The next night, the trap is set. Lila points out that Elizabeth should be open enough to try something before she completely writes it off, and Elizabeth reluctantly agrees. The book is worth the price of admission alone for the scenes where Jessica and Lila ham it up with the spirits. Elizabeth leaves when it becomes clear that of course this is all bunk. Obviously Lila or Jessica is pushing the planchette and really, the concert postponed? Yeah, right.

   Only the next day at work, Liz finds out that due to a union issue, the concert really has been pushed back. SHOCK. Amazement! And then her journal, which has gone missing, is found above the fridge, just like the board said! And Jessica, that paragon of virtue, swears that she didn't steal the journal and place it there, God, Lizzie, what kind of monster do you take her for?!

  But really, I think we all know that this is simply the b-story. Our A game, if you will, centers around something far more Sweet Valley-ish. During a particularly slow news day (remember, this is before the internet) everyone is kind of waiting around for something good to come down the pike. Only it's not happening. Not happening...
   BAM. Escaped patient from a mental hospital! Everyone perks right up because well, it's hard to beat an escaped mental patient on a slow news day, k? Turns out that Donald Redman has ties to Sweet Valley. He went to SVH until he was expelled for unknown reasons in his senior year. Elizabeth finds that he was obsessed with a particularly bitchy blond and that something happened between the two of them, probably leading to his expulsion. Also, for those playing along at home, he was arrested numerous times during his senior year for a variety of things. You can see the little thought bubbles above everyone's head. "Nuuuuuutjob."
  It's a gift from the newspaper gods!

  So naturally Liz goes to a babysitting gig after work. For someone we've never met before, but apparently this is a standing, steady gig. While sitting, Liz gets a lot of hangup phone calls and she's a little unnerved by it. Maybe the universe is trying to tell her something, just like the Ouija board said! Or maybe, Liz, your new boss has a secret.

  Or, you know, maybe it was Lila making prank calls as part of her plot to turn Elizabeth into a believer. Whatever. See, Lila's thought of the perfect end to this little charade. She's going to have the board reluctantly tell Elizabeth (and Jessica and Lila) that Bruce Patman, who is currently being his jerkoff self, has a terminal disease that he hasn't told anyone about. Lila wants to see if Elizabeth can overcome her dislike of Bruce simply because a Ouija board said so.
   The kicker? Elizabeth totally buys this. So every time they run into Bruce, Liz turns on the sympathetic charm and Bruce, never one to turn down the harder to get Wakefield, doesn't exactly run away.

  Meanwhile, Donald Redman, who is a bit of a bomb enthusiast, starts leaving little presents around town. He leaves a bomb at the movie theatre while Jessica and Lila are playing hooky (well, Jessica is). But it's not a real bomb. He leaves one at the Be True To Your School event SVH has at their football stadium. And he possibly left one at the airport, too. The city is working itself into a panic and really, I'm still more interested in Lila's scheme. How is this possible? There are bombs being left around Sweet Valley, self! Get with the program!

  Jessica isn't happy about the way Bruce keeps looking at her sister, so she tells Bruce that Liz isn't interested, she just thinks he's dying of some terminal disease. She figures that since Elizabeth's interest isn't in Bruce himself, but in being such a good person that she can overcome what a terrible person Bruce is, Bruce will exit stage left. Instead Bruce decides to kick it up a notch. He calls Elizabeth when she's working, he wants to come over and visit while she's sitting, and she never once questions the fact that Bruce went from being, y'know, Bruce Fucking Patman to acting all "siiiiiiiigh. You know how it is" without ever actually talking about his mysterious illness at all. Never! She's just so fixated on being such a speshul snowflake that she doesn't ask him anything at all, like why the sudden change in 'tude? Cuz as far as he knows (if he were, in fact, sick) she knows NOTHING about it. So... what the hell?
   Anyway. Bruce shows up at the sitting job, Liz chases him away, and some weird guy shows up looking for Elsa, the mother of the kid Liz is babysitting. Liz offers to take a message but does not let the guy into the house because she's not that dumb. (Kristy would approve. I think.) She's a bit perplexed as to why he seemed a bit familiar, but really. This is Sweet Valley. Everyone seems familiar.

  Remember how we all knew Jeffrey's surprise involved him coming back early? Yeah. He shows up just in time to catch Liz telling Bruce how amazing he is. No. Really. I'm not kidding. Bruce is visiting and playing the sick card and Liz is just lapping it up, so it's a little on the awkward side when Jeffrey interrupts them. That said, it's adorable the way Liz just leaves Bruce hanging to run over and hug Jeffrey to welcome him back. Unfortunately the homecoming is marred by the whole Bruce won't get lost thing. Sooooooo... all three go to the Be True To Your School Thing. Where Bruce and Jeffrey fight over Liz and Liz gets tired of this bullshit, stalks off to get a drink, and the whole bomb threat thing happens.
   Elizabeth is now juggling her love for Jeffrey, her need to keep Bruce's secret (not that Bruce has even flat out confirmed things), and oh yeah, that nutty bomber running around. Good, good times. While at work, Liz realizes that Elsa's college friend is quite possibly Donald Redman. You darken the hair, add some stubble, throw on some glasses that really do the trick for Liz (if you're into that sort of thing) and voila! Same guy. But Elizabeth doesn't want to get this poor guy lynched if she's wrong, so she calls Elsa and asks about the guy. Elsa acts totally weird about it but Liz doesn't pick up on this, probably because she's still stuck on the whole tragic Bruce thing. I don't know.

  Elsa, it turns out, is Donald Redman's sister. She doesn't want to turn her brother in, even if he did try and kill their parents back in the day, because he's the only family she has left now. Thing is, he's acting strange. He keeps asking about Melanie, and Elsa realizes his grasp on reality isn't nearly as strong as it should be. Really, Elsa? The fact that he's leaving bombs around town didn't give you a tip off FIRST? Good grief. There's being blind to the truth and then there's just willfully being a dumbass.
   Whatever. So. Where were we? Oh. Yeah. You know who we haven't heard from in awhile? Lila. See, Lila schemes pretty well and she includes backup plans in case certain Wakefields whose names begin with J start to back out of their little agreement. When Jessica wants Lila to pull back and drop the whole thing, Lila points out that Jessica repeatedly lie, stole, and withheld information from Elizabeth, all in an effort to trick her. Really, how is that going to look to the middle Wakefield? Exactly.
  But why, oh why, is Lila so hellbent on this going down the way she wants? Oh. Yeah. About that. See, Lila figured that when Elizabeth got wind of Bruce being sick, she would run to him and attempt to ease his suffering. Bruce has never made any secret about the fact that he's got a thing for the more prudish twin, so Li figured that they would spark like crazy. And even if they didn't, they'd be close enough that when Jeffrey got home, he'd be so put off by the betrayal that he'd fall right into Lila's arms.
  Yeah. Lila's scheming for Jeffrey. AGAIN. What the hell, ghosties? Doesn't Lila deserve someone new to fawn over? I'd start a drinking game for this section of the SVH series, only it wouldn't exactly be fair to anyone's liver, because Lila only seems to show interest in Jeffrey during this stretch of the series.

  Anyway, Lila's interest takes the book down to a dangerous place when Bruce decides to make a play for Liz. He brags to Jeffrey that while Jeffy thinks he has a date with his own girlfriend, Bruce is positive that he'll be the one to end up with the middle Wakefield on his arm this evening. Since Elizabeth hasn't explained her newfound connection to the richest boy in town, Jeffrey isn't exactly thrilled at the prospect, but because he's not Todd, he doesn't immediately launch himself at Bruce, either.
   Bruce, never one to play fair, plays the sick card to lure Elizabeth out to visit him at the tennis courts. Liz, being Liz, falls for it. She swears her twin and Lila to secrecy and heads off to talk Bruce off the ledge before her date with Jeffrey. I can see trusting Jessica (and no, not just if you're psychotic), but trusting Lila seems pretty dim. Sure enough, Lila excuses herself out to her car where she waits for Jeffrey to arrive at Casa Wakefield. When he does, she 'accidentally' lets it slip that Liz has gone to see Bruce. Jeffrey speeds off to rescue his girlfriend from Bruce's clutches.
  Later, Jess and Lila get bored and decide to play with the Ouija board to kill time. Both accuse the other of moving the planchette around when it spells out danger for EW at the stadium. Jessica's twin sense is tingling and when Elsa appears on her doorstep trying to warn Elizabeth that Donald Redman is indeed the creepy guy who appeared on her porch, the trio call the cops and head off to the rescue. Cuz, you know, they'll be oodles of help.

  But, but why would they be at the stadium. you might find yourself asking. Well, they aren't supposed to be. Bruce called Liz from the tennis courts and the stadium is right next door and much better for a private conversation. When Jeffrey breaks in on Elizabeth "comforting" Bruce, Jeffrey is a little peeved when Liz won't give him any further information beyond "why can't you trust me?!" (Uh, your track record with Toddles, Liz. It speaks for itself.) While Liz is struggling with her desire to keep her boyfriend and her need to keep Bruce's secret, she realizes that Bruce doesn't look at all sick. Jeffrey's accusation that Bruce was bragging about their 'date' beforehand makes her finally question just what the hell has been going on. She asks Bruce if he's sick and he admits that he's not. Humiliated, Elizabeth runs away. Frankly, I can't blame her for that.
   She makes her way towards the exit only to decide at the last second to hide out in the utility room just in case someone comes looking for her.

  Bad move, Wakefield. Bad, bad move. This just so happens to be where Redman is hiding as he assembles his bombs for the following night's concert. Since Redman is a little nutter-butters, he still thinks that Elizabeth is Melanie and revenge is going to be so sweet. Redman noticed Bruce and Liz when they arrived at the SVH stadium, so her just falling into his lap? Bonus. Because he knows that Bruce is around, and Redman is crazy and thinks that Melanie and Bruce are plotting against him, he hurts Elizabeth, forcing her to scream, which in turn leads to Bruce and Jeffrey bursting in to rescue her.
   Only Redman still has Elizabeth in his grasp and when Jeffrey attempts to make even one step closer to his girlfriend, Redman twists her arm and Elizabeth's cry of pain pretty much stops the whole 'rush the nutjob' plan before it even begins. Then Redman does something strange after the door closes. He flings Elizabeth towards the boys and resumes his bomb making, while showing them the switch he's going to use to set this sucker off.
  Once again, Bruce proves that he's actually pretty good in a crisis and points out that hello, bomb would take Redman out, too. Sadly, Bruce hasn't realized just how many cards short of a full deck their captor is.
   "You really think I would make a bomb that can kill me? I'm the only one this bomb can't kill!"
  Riiiiiight. Tell us more, they say in the nicest, most awed sort of way. It quickly becomes clear that if they weren't screwed before, they certainly are now, as Redman details his plan for blowing the building to bits. His nasty habit of accusing "Melanie" of lying to him and plotting against him doesn't exactly give them the warm fuzzies, but no matter how she tries to deny it, Redman still believes that Elizabeth is that cold hearted bitch, Melanie. Wrong twin, Donald. It's okay, it happens all the time.
  While Redman is doing his bomb building, Jessica, Lila, and Elsa have arrived at the stadium along with the police. It doesn't take long for the police to announce their presence, which just sends Donald off the edge again, convinced that Melanie is still fucking with him. Then Elsa starts to speak and Redman shows the first signs of actual humanity and starts to cry when she reminds him of who he used to be while proving who she is. One of the things Elsa says while trying to bring her brother back to earth happens to be about Elizabeth. Donald clings to the Melanie illusion a little longer, but reality intrudes. As he attempts to convince himself that Elsa is an impostor, Jeffrey takes a flying leap at the man with a bomb switch in hands. They fall to the ground and the switch disappears under a cabinet. Not to be subdued too easily, Redman manages to hit the switch before it leaves his hands.
  Jeffrey orders Liz and Bruce to get out of there, but Bruce is Bruce Friggin' Patman. He takes orders from no one. He grabs the bomb and runs. Seriously, take a moment to take that mental picture in. Takes the bomb and runs.
   Run, Bruce, run!

  Redman freaks out like a five year old whose candy has just been taken from him. He goes running after Bruce. Jeffrey and Liz frantically try to grab the switch so they can.. I dunno. Turn the bomb off? Who knows. The two labor over moving the cabinet out of the way and finally retrieve the remote control switch, only they're just as confused as I am as to what their plan was when they began the heavy lifting.
"What do I do?"
"Smash it! Rip out the wires!"
  Brilliant. Liz does this, cutting her hands in the process, and for one brief, shining moment logic screams "I don't think this is how that works!" and then... KABOOM.

  No, it's not the end of SVH, though wouldn't it be awesome if they had What If... books? I'd have gobbled those up faster than the regular ones. Um, anyway, back to the point at hand.
   We switch back to Lila and Jessica who still have no idea what's going on in the stadium. When the explosion occurs, they think it must mean that all three are dead. Lila flips out, both at the explosion and at the look on Jessica's face. Say what you will about Miss Fowler, but unless we're in SY territory, she's there when Liz narrowly cheats death and scares Jessica into white-hair territory.
  Jeffrey and Liz are stunned, both by the blast and the sudden, horrible death of Bruce. Realizing that they should probably leave the area as quickly as possible, they shuffle off into the corridor and attempt to make their way to freedom. Out of the smoke a figure emerges. For one moment Elizabeth is sure that it's Redman and that he's come back to finish them. Jeffrey, not having had the extra time with Redman, realizes very quickly that it's actually Bruce. They fall all over one another to get to him and find out what the hell happened.
  The police swarm them and Bruce offers a very brief account of Redman's last actions. Donald Redman caught up with Bruce, took the bomb, and was laughing as he presumably ran away. The blast was close enough that you're left with the impression that Bruce saw more than he'll ever admit, but for the moment we need everyone out of the building so that Jessica can run and embrace her twin. Jessica explains that while the Ouija board did tell them that Elizabeth was in danger, Jessica's twin sense was tingling beforehand. The Ouija board just gave a voice to her fears.
   The twins promise no more messing around with the Ouija board and off they limp into the sunset.



Trivial Pursuit:

• Lila went to London and returned with a Ouija board, which she claims is the "latest craze" there.


• Jess greets the SVH gang at the DB with "y'all." Repeatedly. Weird.


• This ghosty subscribes to the theory that Lila is incredibly insecure. Which I can buy, but she's fairly secure in other ways, ways that aren't acknowledged by our author.


• Lila's bathroom is described as having wall-to-wall mirrors.


• Jessica debates painting her nails all the same color (Tropic Flame) or going with a different color on each nail. (Wow, the fashion world really does just cycle back around.)


• The Endless Summer concert is postponed a week due to a musician's union issue.


• Lila, Jessica, and Elizabeth see no problem in using the Ouija board in Jessica's room. I'm sorry, but the Hershey Bar is the last place in Casa Wakefield I'd use that. If only because I'm not sure you'd find space on the floor for three teenage girls.


• Jessica lies straight to Elizabeth's face about reading Jeffrey's letters. And stealing her journal.


• Elsa Bartel is the latest person to employ Elizabeth as a babysitter. Her husband is out on a business trip and she needs help watching her son, Max, who is five. She's on the board of directors at Max's daycare.


• After the Ouija board correctly "predicts" the concert being postponed, Liz starts to read "The Beginner's Guide to Occultism."


• Everyone is described as "drawling" in this book. It's kind of weird, y'all.


• Anita Solarz is a recently hired staff reporter at the SVN.


• Donald Redman escaped from the San Rafael Hospital.


• Speaking of Redman: he's 32, white, paranoid schizophrenic who went to SVH and received straight A's. He was in the science club, liked electronics, but was suspended multiple times for fighting with his teachers. He became obsessed with the homecoming queen their senior year. She was dating the football captain. He was arrested for "disturbing the peace, threatening people, neighbors complaining, that sort of thing." He also kidnapped the homecoming queen, which quite probably led to his expulsion from SVH. A few years after that, he was committed to the SRH after he attempted to kill his parents with an exceptionally well crafted bomb. He also had a sister, who later turns out to be Elsa Bartel.


• Bruce calls Elizabeth "Goldilocks."


• Enid is confused by the sudden affection Liz has for Bruce.


• Homecoming Queen, Melanie, reminds me a lot of Amy: Very stuck on herself and hasn't got the brains not to antagonize someone who is clearly off his rocker.


• Jessica plays hooky from her internship so she and Lila can go to the 2pm showing of "Terror in the Subway, Part 4" at the Valley Cinema.


• Redman calls the newspaper office around 3pm and gets Seth's phone, which Liz has answered. He tells them where the bomb is. Since danger follows the twins, it's at the Valley Cinema.


• Seth takes the pictures for the newspaper story about the Valley Cinema bomb.


• Neil Freemount and Bruce went to the same movie as Jessica and Lila. Sandy Bacon and Maria Santelli were shopping nearby.


• The 'bomb' isn't real and is about the size of a typewriter. It has a red ribbon and a tag that says "Got ya. See you next time, kids."


• After the movie bomb scare, Jessica decides to tell Bruce the real reason Elizabeth seems interested. Instead of being offended, Bruce seems to see the potential in having easy access to Saint Liz.


• After Jessica's bombshell (sorry, too easy), Bruce immediately starts laying on the "you know"s and veiled comments to being sick, despite not having done so before. Liz never questions his change in attitude or why Bruce would assume she would know a blasted thing. This irks me more than it should.


• A young, dark haired man with glasses (wire-rim, the kind Liz likes) shows up to see Elsa while Liz is babysitting. He claims to be an old friend from college.


• The cheerleaders have organized the Be True To Your School night at the football stadium.


• Liz wants Jeffrey to trust her, despite the fact that she's been described repeatedly as being a fairly jealous person, and he walked in on her telling Bruce how amazing he was.


• The Droids perform A Plus, which is apparently one of their most popular songs.


• Redman leaves a "bomb" at the airport as well as the Be True event.


• In case you needed to know: Police Commissioner Dreyfus.


• Elsa works at Allied Equity Systems.


• For some reason, Elsa stands by Donald even after he starts leaving bombs around town. It's not until he starts going on about "Melanie" (Liz) that Elsa decides to turn him in.


• Our ghosty this go round has Jeffrey resisting the urge to punch people. Silly, ghosty. That's Toddles with the punching problem.


• Redman is putting a bundle of TNT and plastic in each of the following sections of the stadium for the concert: A1, C3, D1, F3.


• Redman drives a blue Toyota.


• When they were children, Donald taught Elsa about astronomy.


• After Redman hits the switch on the bomb, Bruce takes it and runs. Liz and Jeffrey frantically try to get to the remote, but when they do, all they can figure out to do is destroy it and hope for the best.


• It's implied that Bruce saw Redman die.

Quotes:

"I can't find a rational explanation for why you always need to borrow my clothes when you have twice as many as I do and when you like totally different styles, but I sort of doubt there's anything supernatural about it." - Liz says what everyone else has been thinking since the early 80's. p5

  "Hell-o Bruce," Ken and Winston intoned in a singsong unison. - Tell me, am I the only one to hear helllllloooooo nurse in that? p9

  Dear Jeffrey, everything is the same in Sweet Valley. Bruce is negotiating for total world domination, and my sister has completely flipped out again. - p10

  Jessica let out a peal of laughter. "She'll be so surprised. She won't know what to say."
  "For once," Lila added.
  Their eyes met, and they both giggled. Jessica had to hand it to her best friend. If there was anyone who could cook up a plan, it was Lila Fowler. - I love devious!Lila and Jessica working together against Liz. I'm pretty sure this makes me a bad person. :p p16/17

   Jessica's mind was racing. Lila was right, it was the ultimate test. If Elizabeth could overcome her dislike of Bruce enough to be kind and sympathetic to him, it would prove she definitely believed what the Ouija board said. A laugh of pure delight welled up in Jessica's throat as she imagined her sister's reaction. It would be a priceless scene: Elizabeth in a tug-of-war between her conscience and her disgust for egotistical, infuriating, pain-in-the-neck Bruce Patman. - Is it wrong that I agree with the glee in this scene? p42

  "But we have to work up to it slowly," warned Lila. "We can't just go, 'Whammo! Bruce is dying.'"
  Jessica nodded and let out a weak chuckle. "Right. I'll sneak another look at her journal and find something to use."
  "And then..."
  "And then, 'Whammo! Bruce is dying,'" Jessica finished for Lila. p43

  "I'm a pessimist because I think the police will find an escaped lunatic before he starts parading through Sweet Valley with a chainsaw?" - Oh, Jessica. You slay me. p50

  Lila curled her legs up under her and frowned. "What should Bruce have?" she added.
  Jessica snickered. "How about the plague?"
  "Can you die of leprosy?" Lila asked with a malicious giggle. "I mean, if he's got to go, he might as well have something really interesting." - Remind me again not to tick those two off. p61

  In the past, Jessica had often poked her nose into Elizabeth's relationships, trying to stir up trouble. But for Lila to do it struck her as unfair. After all, Lila wasn't Elizabeth's twin sister. - Can you imagine what that would have been like? Glorious. p77

  Lila gave Bruce a withering look. "Give me a break. Since when are you such an expert?"
  "Hey, I'm good at a lot of things." Bruce smirked at Lila, who turned her back on him. - 94




  All she could think of was that he had deliberately ignored her request to wait for her at home and that he had shattered a special, deeply personal moment between her and Bruce. - Uh, that sounds really... strange, Liz. p169

  "Bruce, are you or are you not sick?"
  "Sick?" Jeffrey sounded surprised.
  Bruce looked thoughtful. "Well, not-exactly sick, but I think I'm about to get a major headache." - ♥ p171





  There are certain SVH books that cross a line. Some are in poor taste, some are badly executed, some involve vampires or werewolves, and some just make you wonder how exactly that pitch meeting went. "So you know what SVH needs more of? Lonely bombers."
   So Deadly Summer is a pretty odd book. I like it, but it's one of those where my brain has attached exactly one label to the book (crazy bomber!) and so re-reading it, even twice within a five month period, it seems somehow new and familiar all at the same time. It's disorienting, to tell the truth. It definitely plays out in the far reaches of the plausibility fields for the series, but there's enough other stuff going on that you can't put the damn thing down. Lila and Jessica plotting to humble Liz? Brilliant. Lila having a secondary plot? Genius. POV chapters from Redman? Thumbs up. Bruce deciding to go full throttle with whole sickness angle just to see how much he can get away with? Fabulous. Jeffrey logically being miffed that his girlfriend is spending waaaaaaaaaay too much time with Bruce? Yes, thank you, I'll have another slice of this crazy pie.

  I love the little bits of Lila/Jessica friendship that flitter through, and it's funny reading this after the whole SVC thing because of the L/B pairing and the initial take on Lila's personality. Scheming Lila is second only to caring Lila, and they both make appearances here. Overall, this is one of the more cracktacular Thrillers and it deserves better cover art. Jess is okay but Liz is looking a little...well, you tell me.

“We were surprised by the reaction,” said Dan Weiss, the publisher at large at St. Martin’s, part of Macmillan. “It speaks to the fact that initially there was a real core group of fanatic fans, who are always the preservationists. They don’t want things to change.”

Ms. Pascal is not unsympathetic. “Sweet Valley was their adolescence and I’ve done some very radical things,” she said. “But you are different from that inchoate person of 16, and you have to allow that change to those characters.”

-snip-

“You remember how innocent and chaste they were,” said Ms. Teeman, who read the books when she was younger. “But when you make it an adult novel, naturally some of that innocence has to go away. This is a novel for adults, and we expect these characters to grow up and be adults.”

Ms. Pascal said she was already considering writing another book, now that “Sweet Valley Confidential” had received some positive reviews and achieved best-seller status. A film based on the original series is in the works.

“I knew that this one would wake up those readers, the old fans,” she said. “But that’s the whole point of it.”

Courtesy of The NY Times and the delightful livfreeverse at SV Unlimited.

  Uh, no. ( spoilers ho! )

Making more of these books had better involve fixing what you screwed up and dropping a house on Caroline. Also, possibly, maybe you should go back and try and find some sort of warmth for the characters, because as it stands, if fictional characters could sue? SVC would give them a solid case against FP. Especially you, AJ. Take notice, Francine. That is AJ. He's the redhead, not the blonde, in the icon.

I suppose I should rejoice that there's obviously a section of the fanbase not content to just accept SVC as it stands. I might not necessarily run into them, but at least they exist.

Another book. Good grief.

  I'm more than halfway through this and my very limited review thus far? Two versions.

Long:
What the shit is this?!

Short:
NO.

Lila's Story
December 1989


Competition...


   Lila Fowler is the richest girl at Sweet Valley High. She wears designer clothes, lives in a mansion, and has an allowance at least three times the size of her friends'. And as an only child, she's always had all of her father's affection. Lila has everything a girl could possibly want.
  But before long Lila's happiness is shattered. Her father brings home a beautiful new girlfriend, Joan. And Joan has a daughter, Jacqueline, who's the same age as Lila. Soon it seems that Joan and Jacqueline are taking over Fowler Crest and Lila is furious. Then Mr. Fowler drops a bombshell-he and Joan are getting married! If Lila can't stop them, her life will change forever!

  Read all about the most exciting people at Sweet Valley High in the Super Star Editions!

  Disclaimer: For some reason re-reading this book made me realize that it bore no resemblance to the book in my memory. I remembered that it had to do with golddiggers and Lila having to foil them but... somehow all the other details went poof. It was a bit like reading a new SVH book, but one that seemed terribly off because my brain kept trying to put in different plots. Disconcerting to say the least.

   So, you might know that Lila has daddy issues. She also has regular issues, but it's the daddy issues that are usually on display. For instance, Li isn't big on her father ignoring her, but he continues to do so with the added bonus of throwing a bunch of cash and expensive gifts her way to make up for the fact that he's ignoring her. Occasionally Saint Liz will stop by and remind the man he could save a fortune by just spending a Sunday afternoon with his only child*, but Saint Liz is lacking in this book. Thing is, Lila's always been a bit iffy on her father dating. On the one hand, it means he's more distracted which means even less time for Lila, but her shopping is now completely unrestrained. Lila likes that part. Also, for the most part George is rarely serious about anyone. But when he is, Lila hates them since it means her three seconds of Daddy's attention are permanently sucked away for the duration of his relationship with whomever. See Ms. Dalton.

  Naturally this means that Lila is most displeased when she realizes that her father has gone and fallen into a serious relationship with a woman who drives Lila batty. Joan Borden has somehow managed to ensnare George Fowler and shows no signs of letting him go. While she says that she's well off and from an old money sort of family (asking random people if they're related to people back East and then following with "oh..." and wandering off is never a good idea, Joan), Lila quickly notices that the Bordens (Joan frequently seems to bring her daughter Jacqueline along with her) never seem to pay for anything or host George at their home. Instead they're freeloading off the Fowlers and George doesn't seem to notice or care. Oddly enough he does notice how much Lila's been spending.
   Still, Lila is a little distracted. You see, she's fallen for a random guy at a concert. When Jessica identifies the guy, the terrible duo concoct a scheme to steal dreamboat Evan away from his girlfriend. Luckily for Lila, Evan's girlfriend, Sonia, had a thing for Bruce Patman the year before. Evan is crazy jealous, so it doesn't take a genius to figure out that if you sweet talk Bruce into distracting Sonia, Lila can swoop in to console poor, devastated Evan. The real problem crops up when Bruce can't think of anything he wants from Lila, so she has to promise to do him a favor, any favor, at a later date.
  If this were one of the supernaturally themed supers, this would be proof that Bruce actually is, in fact, the devil. But it's not, so you just know it's going to come back to bite Lila in the duff at the worst possible time. Keep that thought in mind.
   The plan works, because no one can resist the charm of Bruce when they're already a little under his spell. (Lila comes the closest to resisting and we all know how that turns out.) Lila and Evan hit it off immediately and it takes no time at all for Lila to have a boyfriend that we actually hear about that Jessica doesn't come along and steal three seconds later. Sign of the Apocalypse count is up to at least three for this book alone.

   At first Lila finds everything about Evan fascinating. She's drawn to his love for racing, and while she finds it incredibly dull hanging out at the racetrack after the initial rush wears off, she still does it because Evan has told her that Sonia never really supported his racing. Nothing like being told how much better you are than the one who came before you, right? Everything seems pretty awesome on the Evan front, which means that things on the home front have taken a serious nose-dive.

   Joan and Jacqueline have all but moved into Fowler Crest, and Lila ain't happy. While her father is surprisingly home more often, he's frequently making comparisons between Jacqueline (whom I hate because her name is a pain in the ass to type out!) and Lila where Lila falls short. Also miff-worthy is the fact that Joan and George keep foisting Jacqueline off on Lila and Jacqueline is just so damn nice all the time. She's entirely too sweet, but everyone else has the same reaction whenever Lila makes a snide comment about this fact. "What, you'd prefer her to be a bitch?" only in slightly different words. Lila can't get anyone to understand why someone this nice bothers her so much. Not even her boyfriend, a point that irritates Lila greatly.
  On the other hand, Evan's too pretty to dump over something that Lila herself can't properly explain, so she tries to think of ways to get the Bordens out of her life before things get too serious. (They've moved in, Li. I'd say it's pretty damn serious.)

   Evan, once he's started to grate on Li's nerves just a little, begins to show a few more cracks in his perfect facade. He moans about not having the money to compete in a race, but when Lila offers to front him the money (something she feels will bind them together, as he wouldn't just take $500 from someone he wasn't serious about, right? Oh, honey...) he refuses just enough to seem like he's not taking advantage of her. Lila has a bit of a problem just coming up with $500 on the spot, but then she's reminded that her father leaves a petty cash drawer. Thinking she'll kill two birds with one stone, she takes the money and leaves the key in with the Borden's stuff. It mysteriously finds its way back to George's desk, although not where it should be.
   Failure spurs Lila on to think of something better. She attempts to frame Jacqueline as the thief by hiding a necklace in the younger Borden's room, only Jacqueline is sneakier than Lila imagines and has already returned it to Lila's room. So Lila looks like a jackass (again) in front of her father after she's just all but flat out accused Jacqueline of being the thief. (The first time is when George gets wind of Lila's $600 shopping spree and she lies about it. To his face.)
  Before you go thinking that Jacqueline is as innocent as she appears, she pulls a few stunts of her own. She loses Lila's messages from her friends and when George and Joan go out of town, she doesn't even bother trying to keep up appearances unless Eva, the housekeeper, is around.
  Lila's pulled in two directions at once when she realizes that maybe things with Evan aren't quite what she expected at the same time that George announces he and Joan are engaged and will be getting married ASAP. Lila is beyond horrified.
  So she does what any good schemer would do: she decides to beat the Bordens at their own game. She turns on the charm after the engagement party and attempts to be as helpful as possible so that Joan won't know what hit her, while Jacqueline will know something is up, but won't be sure what that something is until it's too late.

   What about Bruce? He calls in his favor. The big race Evan's been going on about all summer is finally at hand (the one Lila paid for), but Bruce wants Lila to get Evan to drop out so that Bruce's friend can win and (because Bruce isn't known for doing things out of the kindness of his heart) Bruce can win his bet. Nice, Patman. Lila reluctantly does so, feeling awful that she's making Evan drop out of something he was so looking forward to, although this way she'll have Evan's support at the engagement party.
  Too bad Evan and Jacqueline hit it off a little too well. When Lila calls Evan on fraternizing with the enemy, he's shocked that she would be so upset about him being nice to her soon to be sister. Li coldly corrects him (stepsister!) and the two sort of make up, mostly agreeing to disagree. In the three weeks leading up to the wedding, Li realizes that while Evan shows up almost daily, he seems to be pulling away all the same. Still, why else would Evan keep coming around if he's lost interest?
   Oh, Lila. There's another attractive brunette in the house these days. Jacqueline. Lila catches them together, although they don't know it, and Lila realizes that much like the Bordens are using George for his money, Evan was doing the same thing to Lila. The racing thing? He fed Jacqueline the same line about Lila not supporting his racing, which is when Lila realizes how much of a fool she's been. Dude can't even think up new lines to hook the gullible girls. Un. Cool.
  Lila has also overheard Joan and Jacqueline discussing their plan to trap George just long enough to get alimony and then they'll finally be super rich. (I'm not the only one with the prenup part of Gold Digger stuck in their head, right?) Doubting he'll believe her, but still knowing she owes it to her father to try, she attempts to share the knowledge with her father. Not surprisingly, he doesn't believe her for a variety of reasons. Spoiled little rich girl, has bitched endlessly about the Js since they arrived, the array of lies Lila's already shared over the course of the book...
   So Lila does her best to seem as excited as possible about the impending nuptials while trying to find a way to stop them. Yeah. It's wedding day and Lila's still stymied, so she wanders around the grounds aimlessly. Somehow she ends up hearing about the soundsystem they've got rigged for the wedding so that all three hundred guests will be able to hear the vows.

  Light. Bulb!

   Lila wires the sunroom where the bride and her maids are awaiting their musical cue and takes a big gamble. When the guests have been seated and everyone is just about ready to wait for the bridesmaids to waltz down the aisle, Lila tells Joan to cut the crap, that Jacqueline already broke character, and that with everyone in the room already in on the plan, there's no need to keep up the act. Joan reacts (fool!) and of course everything they say can and will be used against them in the next scene. When Joan walks down the aisle, the guests turn feral. Clueless, Joan doesn't understand what's happening until George tells her to go to hell. When the Bordens have fled for the house (I do hope that Eva or someone is watching to make sure they've only taken their own things...), George announces that Lila has saved the day. Huzzah! The peasants rejoice.
  Evan appears and Lila tells her father that Evan borrowed the missing money from Jacqueline and that he's ever so anxious to pay it back. Then Lila flounces off, free at last of the annoying people who have spent the last 210 pages making her life miserable.
  Because Lila is Lila Fowler, she finds someone new at the party thrown instead of the reception. The guy Bruce wanted to win the race so Bruce would win his bet? Yeah, he's just what Miss Fowler is looking for after the disaster with Evan.
   Proof that you can momentarily throw Lila off her game but she will win out in the end, so it's best to get out of her way. And that means you, Patman.




* A thought. Does George have other children that he prefers to spend time with and that is why he's always away on "business"? I know it's sacrilege to think that anyone might be more delightful than Miss Lila Fowler, but George, especially in this book, has never struck me as the brightest star in the sky. Besides, if middle school!Amy can have a secret sister, it would make even more sense for Lila. :P Work with me, ghosties of the past!


Trivia:

• It's summer vacation time. Again.


• George Fowler is having Lila stick to a limit on her credit cards.


• Lila's blown it two months in a row.


• Joan Borden is described as very "glamorous" by Amy who sees the couple out at the movies and even Lila admits she's beautiful. She and her daughter, Jacqueline, live in LA. She has a nasty habit of calling George pet names. Her chestnut hair is cut in the "latest" style, whatever that would be. She's elegantly thin, with a penchant for very high heels, is very pale and conscientious of her sun exposure, and her mother was an Alden-Westcott.


• Karla Xavier is a singer-songwriter throwing a benefit concert for the homeless at the SV Stadium. Her voice is described as "rich and deep."


• West End is a new local band opening for KX. Do the Droids know about them? Was there a battle of the bands and we missed it?


• Aaron has a thing for Karla Xavier, so he, Enid, Hugh, Todd&Liz, Amy, Cara, Jess, Steven, and Lila attend the concert, as Liz managed to score ten tickets.


• Last week Lila left her keys in the Triumph's ignition. Oops.


• Li also has a huge gold keyring, and has apparently recently gotten a car phone, much to Jessica's delight.


• George Fowler is 45 with silver tinged hair. Dreamy?


• Lila blows $600 at Lisettes on a suede jacket and skirt, then lies to her father about the charge when he asks her about it.


• I always wondered who Dorota/Blair reminded me of. Turns out it's Lila and her housekeeper, Eva.


• Fowler Crest has lemon trees in the backyard. It also apparently is a 20 room mansion with Picassos here and there.


• When Joan compliments Lila on her father's decorating tastes, Lila gloats that her mother did most of the decorating along with her interior decorators.


• Evan Armstrong is the current object of Lila's affections. He's got a long, lean build, tops out at 6'2", and has sun streaked blond hair, with broad shoulders, square handsome features (naturally), but dresses casually. He graduated from Palisades a year ago and drives a Lancia Coupe. His parents broke up earlier this year.


• Sonia Bentley is Evan's longtime girlfriend. She's a tiny wisp of a thing who tried out for cheerleading and was awful. She's frequently seen wearing sundresses.


• Lila is an inch taller than the twins, is prone to 'extra awful' headaches, and she listens to jazz when she's stressed.


• Sonia had a crush on Bruce, but at the time he was dating Marly Jackson from Sweet Valley College.


• Aaron is friends with Sonia. It's a good thing he has a girlfriend, or else we'd have been robbed of prime Lila/Bruce snark.


• Bruce considers hitting on Jacqueline (which means the girl has to be pretty) but ultimately doesn't.


• Joan orders the most expensive item on the menu at the SV Country Club, a cold seafood salad.


• Lila dances with Winston. Sign of the Apocalypse count has been bumped to four. Maybe five since it's her choice.


• The Droid's newest song is "Why Not You."


• Evan races at the Stoddard Race Club, located at the Davis Speedway out in Los Palmos which is about half an hour away from SV.


• Evan races a red Thunderbird for a guy named Forest.


• Despite the fact that Lila repeatedly calls Joan by her name, Lila is still thrown when Jacqueline calls Mr. Fowler "George."


• Lila hates the rhinestone combs that J&J give her, thinking they're hideously ugly.


• Want a picnic but don't want to have to go to the effort of making up a picnic basket? It's okay, Lila will call and order one delivered, just like she did for Evan when he was out at the track.


• Lila loves La Scala.


• Proof that Jacqueline is evil: She borrows Lila's black and gold maillot from Lisette's that Lila has yet to wear. Also, it cost more than a hundred dollars and she spilled food on it.


• Proof that Evan is evil: He doesn't get that this would bug Lila. Really, dude?


• Pete, the guy who owns Evan's racing team, wants each driver to pony up $500 to help pay the cost of 'reboring the whole fleet.'


• Evan is paid monthly.


• Joan Borden had a chair that George gave Lila's mother reupholstered. She conveniently didn't have any money on her when it was delivered, so George paid $600 for the gift.


• George and Joan go to Honolulu for business and pleasure. I assure you Lila is not the only one cringing at being told that.


• Bruce has money riding on Toby Clement to win the race Evan's been talking about for the entire book. When Lila talks Evan out of the race, Toby does indeed win. Later he'll also catch Lila's eye when she's freed from Evan.


• It rained the night before the wedding.


• George and Joan are going to get married on the grounds of Fowler Crest, under a big white and yellow tent at four in the afternoon.


• Three hundred guests are invited to the wedding.


• Joan will be walking down the aisle to "Jesu." On the sixth bar, Lila and Jacqueline are supposed to start down the aisle.

Quotable Sweet Valley:
  Lila got into her car, and Jessica watched her speed off. She had known Lila for a long time, but she couldn't remember her friend ever getting quite so upset over one of her father's girlfriends. - Really, Jessica? Because Lila had a massive hatred of Ms. Dalton and took to spreading stories about Ken and Ms. Dalton just to break the couple up. I'd say that's pretty upset. Bah! p11

  Her father was acting exactly like a teenager. He blushed and smiled at every single thing Joan said. He asked a zillion ridiculously questions about their ride from L.A. as if they'd taken a space shuttle instead of driving for an hour or so on the freeway. - Lila's mind is a delicious place to stay awhile. p22

  "She's awful, Jess. I have to figure out some way to get rid of her."
  Jessica's eyes brightened. "Can I help? This sounds like the sort of thing I'm good at." - So. True. p32

   As Bruce looked from one girl to the other, a smile slowly spread across his face. "I should've guessed that. Sounds like a Jessica Wakefield plot," he mused. "Actually, I kind of like this idea. I like being the knight in shining armor who clears the way for your big romance." -Make of that what you will. p49

"Lila, your father just said the most flattering thing to me at the bar. He said I don't look old enough to have a daughter Jackie's age. Isn't that silly of him?"
"It certainly is," Lila said. - Marry me, Fowler? p55

  If Lila beat her up, she would probably thank her for it.
  Lila hoped that Amy would show up at the beach. She couldn't wait to see what she would make of Jacqueline Borden. She'd probably destroy her in minutes-something Lila wouldn't exactly mind watching! - This. THIS is why I read SVH. Here's to you both, Lila and Amy. p105

  "Well, you managed to get some glorious color," Evan said, tilting his glass to toast her. - I cannot explain why this tickles me so, but it does. p110

  Not that Lila cared that much about car races, but she really liked the image of herself as the supportive girlfriend, especially since Sonia had let Evan down over and over again when it came to racing. - Oh, Lila. Never change. p160


Fashion!
  Lila had taken special pains getting ready. She was wearing white designer jeans and a new mauve suede vest over a white t-shirt. It was a look she had stolen from Ingenue magazine and it was a big hit. Even Jessica was impressed. - I love that Li dresses to impress... Jess. Also, begin the drinking game for each time a look of Li's has the word "designer" used to describe it. Your liver transplant is scheduled, yes? p31/32

  Lila adjusted the top of the designer jumpsuit she had bought before her father had so severely limited her buying power. She thought the look was dynamite. By opening a few buttons on the oversize top of the white jumpsuit, it slid silkily off one shoulder, an effect Lila intended to use to full advantage. The white showed off her tan to perfection, and the gold chains around her neck were a perfect addition. - What Li wears to Aaron and Winston's Beach Disco party. p59

  She hoped she had chosen the right thing to wear-tight-fitting stonewashed jeans and a magenta T-shirt made by her favorite designer. She wanted to stand out, but not too much. -p77

  Not even the breathtaking view or the pleasure of seeing Evan dressed in a sport coat and fashionable trousers could erase the dreadful memory of the day at the beach.
  She was wearing a creamy white sweater and matching skirt, and the sun had turned her skin a golden tan, the color shown off by her dress and her pearl earrings. - Lila and Evan dressed for dinner at La Scala, p110

   She had to admit Joan's dress was spectacular: a long, straight, elegant off-white satin gown with antique lace. She wished she could say the same about the dresses that Joan had chosen for Lila and Jacqueline to wear. They were stiff, formal, and Lila thought pretty ugly-peach colored satin with little-girl necklines and high waists. p197




   Despite the book being about Lila and my having a soft spot for the Wakefield's best friends, Lila's story was a bit disappointing. Maybe it's because just about any of Lila's love interests seem to either want her best friend or her money or maybe it's because the only other storyline they seem to come up with for Lila hinges on her daddy issues. Possibly it's because I was expecting a different story and spent half the book thinking, "Wait, what?", but Lila's Story seems like it could have been more interesting. Also, I'm a sucker for Lila/Jessica fun times and they were sorely lacking this go round. I'm not expecting L/J to go around making cookies like Enid and Elizabeth do, but one bit of scheming and then Jessica spending the book bitching about Lila's bitchiness does not a warm fuzzy give, ok?

   On the plus side, it's pretty much all Lila, all the time, and I'm not sure Lila would have it any other way. Also, the Lila/Bruce tension is worth the price of admission alone.

...Wow. It's been awhile, eh? I have good reasons that I shall not bore you with. I do come with news, if you can call it that. Tuesday this lovely book was released.



  Take a moment to admire the twins right up close and personal-like. Oooh. Ahhh. I gather the general consensus, at least a week or two ago, was that this was the re-released books smooshed together. Not true, my friends. These are the original stories. Jessica sweet talks Liz into the use of her tuxedo get-up, Enid and George hit a kid in his GTO, and there's plenty of PBA to go around.

  This edition is also larger than your average SVH book, and we don't mean thickness. So it's going to stick out on your shelf. I know some people don't like that, so I figured fair warning and all. Also, working against it? It seriously looks like someone went back and Xeroxed originals and then bound them together. The cover blurb took more time. Since the book is larger than your average SVH novel, there are now margins to doodle in, on all sides. It's a bit strange to see, actually.

But I'm a completist by nature, so I had to buy it. I'm not sure I would recommend that you pay full price for it, but since I was facing a s/h charge that was about this much for something else, and this bumped me into freebie territory? Everyone won. There is, btw, no blurb for Power Play, leaving me to wonder are they releasing the next bit or is this a one shot?

Next week, SVC. Can you handle the destruction of your childhood memories by the very person responsible for bringing them to the page initially? I still haven't recovered from the preview, personally. And the audio preview didn't help much either.

Oh random LJ ticky box, do not tick the "remove comment" feature again. It confuses me as to how in the heck it happened!

That Fatal Night
November 1989

Will Ken's life be ruined in one tragic moment?

Sudden tragedy...

  Terri Adams loves football. In fact, she's one of the Sweet Valley Gladiators' biggest fans. She's also the biggest fan of Ken Matthews, the team's quarterback. Terri thinks Ken has everything going for him-he's good looking and popular, and he's led the Gladiators to an undefeated season.
  Then one rainy night, Ken is in an terrible car accident that leaves him blind. His football career is over, and even worse, his friends are so uncomfortable about his blindness they avoid him. Ken would be miserable if it weren't for Terri. She's the one person who is always there when he needs her. But when Ken realizes he's falling in love with her, he's convinced that she could never return his feelings. Can Ken and Terri ever be more than friends?

   That Fatal Night gets a lot of flak for its completely misleading title. There's nothing fatal about the night since Ken eventually regains his sight and since they're stuck in a time-warp of fairly epic proportions, not even his junior year football career has ended. Fateful, I think, is the word you were looking for, guys. But fatal is catchier so, whatever.

  I remember bits and pieces of this book from when I was a kid. I remember Terri's blindfolded for an hour trick, I remember the rain and Ken's accident, and I remember Amy being an incredible witch. Now that I'm older I can use the more colorful terms, such as skank-ass ho, bitch, and insensitive cow. Or simply call her Slutton. (Really. How did SY not make this connection?) I also remember 'shipping Terri and Ken because they were so cute together. You know, before they were a couple.

   But I've skipped way ahead, so let's backup and start again, shall we? That Fatal Night begins with Terri Adams feeling a little out of place in Sweet Valley. She's the statistician for the football team, which means some of the team members think she's cool, but one of them doesn't happen to be the object of her larger than life crush, Ken. Still, it could happen and Terri's not so much shy as she is a little reserved, and usually only around Ken. So she goes to Amy's big after-game party and she even works up the nerve to sort of talk to Ken. Sadly for Terri, Amy whisks Ken away and smooches him in front of everyone. It's the female version of pissing on a tree to mark your territory. (If you just envisioned Amy humping Ken, I really do apologize because now I can't get it out of my head. MAKE IT STOP.)
  See, Amy thinks it's time she settled down with one guy, and what guy could be better than the quarterback of the undefeated football team? The fact that they're both blond and gorgeous doesn't hurt, and Amy's sure that Ken will get a football scholarship and they'll go to college together and it'll all be grand. Yup. Ken is the guy for her. Even if he doesn't seem at all interested, really. Doesn't matter. He will be hers!

   Ken is kind of the anti-typical jock in that he doesn't really want to date, or whatever it is that Amy does, Amy. He thinks she's too flighty to be girlfriend material, and besides, he's not really sure he's boyfriend material just yet. He doesn't really crave the spotlight and he gets embarrassed when Amy goes full-on PDA without even talking to him about things first.
  So he jumps at the chance to leave the party (even though it's in his honor) and take Winston and Maria home. It'll give him time to clear his head before charging back into battle with Amy.
  At the same time, Terri decides she can't spend any more time at this god awful party pretending to sort of have a good time while Amy keeps making out with Ken just because she can. So she bums a ride from Winston and Maria... not realizing that they're going home via Ken's taxi service. After Winston and Maria get out at the Egberts, Terri and Ken are left alone. At first it's a little awkward, but they find some common ground and by the time Ken drives away, Terri is over the moon at having gotten to spend some quality alone time with her crush. Aww!
   Too bad Ken didn't stick around at Terri's. Driving back to Amy's, a drunk driver runs Ken off the road and into a tree. For a moment, as a kid, I had to stop reading and flip to the back cover just to make sure I hadn't misread and that Ken would survive.

   After Jessica escapes the boring clutches of self-centered to the extreme Skip Harmon, she, Liz, and Todd head home. On the way, they drive by the hill where Ken's accident has taken place. The rain has let up (which makes me wonder how long it took for medical personal to arrive since it was pouring when Ken had his accident) and Liz catches sight of one of Ken's bumper stickers. She has Todd stop the car and they run into a very chatty officer who doesn't seem to keep up with high school sports. This seems a bit odd to me, but that's just because I think a good chunk of the policemen around *here* know who most of the really important players are at the local high schools, at least in the areas they work. And I always imagined SV to be a smaller town/city/whatever, so... there you go. Anyway, confirmation is given that it is indeed Ken and they watch as he's loaded into the ambulance and carried away.
  The trio decides to head back to the party and break the news to Amy and whomever is left waiting for him. Amy flips out because she's a drama queen, but I also feel bad for her since she actually likes Ken and no one wants their friend to be in a life or death situation like this. Liz keeps Amy from rushing over to the hospital immediately, which is odd since anytime Liz, Todd, or Jessica is in the hospital, everyone runs like hell for Fowler Memorial even if there's no way in hell they'll be allowed to see them. Suspicious!

  Soooooooo... it doesn't take long for word to get out about Ken's accident, but somehow Terri misses the memo and when she gets to school she can't figure out why everyone is so down. Until she eavesdrops on Amy holding court and is blamed for Ken's accident. D'oh! Poor Terri. :/
  Ken's a pretty good sport about his accident right up until he realizes he's blind. Then he sort of momentarily loses his shit and I don't blame him. When the twins visit, he tries to play off his blindness until they hand him their card which Jessica proclaims over 200 people have signed. For a second Ken tries to fake having a headache and then he comes clean. Liz is speechless and Jessica is outraged on his behalf. Liz sends Jessica away so she and Ken can talk (because of their super secret love affair?) and Jess runs into Amy. Ames was thrilled at having a football hero boyfriend, but a blind former football hero boyfriend? So not happening. She runs away, leaving Jessica more than a little baffled.

   To learn how to deal/cope/live with his blindness, Ken goes to the Hollyfield (which I keep reading as Holyfield) rehab center. A couple of days into his stint there, Terri and Elizabeth get permission to visit. Terri asks if it's okay if she visits Ken alone and Liz agrees. Terri breaks down about how sorry she is for not making him wait out the storm at her house and Ken tells her that it's not her fault, he's just as much to blame for not staying put. They both agree they wish he had stuck around, although for slightly different reasons.

  Fast forward a month and Ken is ready to rejoin society. Winston escorts him around campus, but everywhere Ken goes, sympathy and awkward silences follow. The breaking point comes in History when Amy says hello and then sprints across the room to sit with Lila when she used to sit right next to Ken before his accident. Funny how he only seems interested now that Amy's no longer giving him the time of day, huh? Unable to deal with the reactions people have been giving him all morning, Ken goes outside during lunch to get away from it all. He overhears Scott Trost talking to Skip Harmon about how strong Amy's been coming onto him lately. Ken realizes that the moment Scott replaced him as QB, he also took Ken's spot in Amy's interest. Ticked, Ken has to convince himself not to belt Scott. (I wish he'd slug Skip though.) After they leave, Ken thinks he'll get a moment to himself, but no. Terri comes along.
   However, instead of going on about how sorry she is about Ken's accident or something similar, she starts in on how pretty the magnolias smell. Ken's thrown off balance a bit and she follows up with a lot of football talk. For the rest of the lunch period, Ken forgets his unhappiness right up until the end when he realizes that Terri would probably never be interested in him. No girl would, now that he's blind.
  BLIND.

  Terri's taken aback at how abruptly Ken leaves her at the end of lunch, so she calls the school's resident busybody, Elizabeth. Liz points out that it's possible to get a small taste of Ken's discomfort by blindfolding herself for awhile to see what it's like. I won't lie. I totally did this repeatedly as a kid. It really lost it's appeal once I had to get glasses though. Especially when I realized I took after my father in terms of sight, which meant I was blind as a freakin' bat. Then the whole blindfold thing just worried the hell out of me. But until then, good times. Anyway, Liz is sure this will work because she saw it in a movie!
   Terri takes her advice the next afternoon and she realizes what a bitch it is to get around without seeing things, but hey. At least the birds sound prettier and you can feel things better. Right? ...Right? Totally. Makes. Up. For. It. Not.
  In an unexpected burst of confidence, Terri calls Ken and asks him out to the beach the next day. When Ken starts to turn her down, she points out that this is the first time she's ever asked a guy out and if he turns her down, she will be crushed and scarred for life. Way to guilt the guy, Adams. Still, she's cute enough so we'll play it cute and not desperate, k? Ken agrees and the next day she picks him up and they go to a deserted little beach that Terri is fond of. They chat and walk along the sand, Terri hands him shells and tries to describe things without going overboard. She convinces Ken that he can still run and they run along the beach. Really, I'm just wondering the likelihood of him not cutting himself on a shell or something, but that's just me.
   It doesn't take long for Terri and Ken to slip into an easy pattern of hanging out all the time. The problem is that Terri starts doing things for Ken, so that he's depending entirely too much on her. He's falling in love with her for real and the moment he realizes this, he also figures (again) that she'd never be interested because she's never shown any interest (that he can see... what, too soon?) and she never will because he's BLIND.
  Terri can't figure out why Ken's being such an ass towards her half the time. It's like they skipped the relationship portion of the dating and skipped right to the awkward breakup part, and once more she calls upon Liz. Liz listens and asks if Terri ever confessed her feelings for Ken. Terri admits she never did and Liz says that maybe Ken feels the same way, since she's not blind and she can see how he looks at Terri and all. Terri agrees to talk to Ken and to stop doing every damn thing for Ken. The fact that her grades are slipping? Probably doesn't hurt.
   Only when Terri tries to slowly disengage, she's more than a bit awkward and since Ken's so damn sensitive, he shuts down when he thinks she's pulling away. They end up yelling at one another and Terri asks why he thinks she did all this for him, and then answers because she loves him, you idiot.
  Then she storms off.

   Terri, you don't flounce off on a blind guy. He's at a severe disadvantage when it comes to chasing you down to have that big romantic kiss moment! Still, Ken hoofs it to the nearest bus station when Terri's mother says she's still not at home. He takes the bus to their beach and finds Terri and cops to his asshole tendencies and then he confesses he's fallen in love with her and this is all overshadowed by the fact that Ken can see where the sun is and when it hides behind a cloud he can totally tell.
  Healing has never been so poetic, y'all. :P
  The final chapter has a lead-up to book 61, but we'll be taking a slight detour since the next book is Lila's book. Hell. Freakin. YES!

  BTW, there's no B-plot really. We just spend most of the book examining things from Terri's as well as Ken's perspectives.

Trivia:

• When discussing the odds of the Gladiators beating the Pumas (they're four points behind and only a minute to go), Todd seems awfully sure of the team, even going so far as to say "Besides, we've been undefeated all year".. dude. You've been back like, what, a month? And that month was spent at another school. There is very little "we" involved here.


• Todd remarks that Ken doesn't seem all that interested in having a girlfriend. As someone who has read the SUPER SEKRIT DIARIES, I know this is because he's still friggin' hung up on your girlfriend. But that was more of a retcon, yes? Still. I get the giggles.


• When trying to decide whether to go to Amy's bash after the big game, Terri waffles because she doesn't know most of the people there. Except she's the assistant statistician for the football team, one of the team members comes over specifically to ask her if she's going, and she's just described Shelley Novak as her friend. Um, I'd say Liz is the least of your friends (Jessica too) at this point.


• Ken is up to 57 runs for the season by the end of the Palisades game, and the game winning touchdown was his seventh running touchdown.


• Terri Adams is the assistant statistician for the football team. She's described as "petite and pretty" with short, glossy light brown hair, and large brown eyes. She has a huge crush on Ken. All her friends know. She's only shy when Ken is around.


• Zack Johnson: sophomore linebacker who spends most of the time on the bench despite being good at what he does because the upperclassmen are better. Has a thing for April Dawson.


• April Dawson Thick, dark hair


• Amy's house: "It was a huge contemporary house with a cathedral ceiling in the living room."


• Those in attendance at Amy's party: Amy, Jessica, Lila (the latter two are mentioned as being door greeters), Cara, Jean West, Liz, Todd, Winston, Maria, Ken, April, Zack, Shelley, Jim Roberts, John, Jennifer Mitchell, Skip Harmon, Kristin Thompson


• Jessica spent portions of the last book being a bit stuck on Skip Harmon and now they're dancing at Amy's shindig. But by the time Liz and Jessica talk a few minutes later, Jessica seems to have moved beyond him, even if he can dance.


• Ken drinks OJ at the party.


• The only other person to have more running touchdowns than Ken was Richard Chico, six years ago. Ken has five more games ahead of him and Terri is sure he'll break the record.


• When Winston and Maria attempt to ditch the party early because Winston's VW is in the shop (needs new tires) and they need to take the bus, Ken offers to take them home. Immediately. To get away from Amy and her too-public displays of affection. Despite the fact that if they had a ride home, they wouldn't need to leave as early because they wouldn't be *waiting* for the bus. Later Winston says his uncle wants to go fishing in the morning and Win has to be up at 6am.


• Terri bums a ride from Win and Maria, which means she's also bumming a ride from Ken. She and Winston live near one another, apparently.


• Terri was in the Chess Club her sophomore year. Winston's still a member.


• Ken swerves to avoid a drunk, middle aged man driving a red Cutlass who is in the wrong lane and speeding over the crest of a hill. Ken's car skids and when he tries to correct it, he ends up swerving into a tree.


• Ken's white Toyota's front end is crumpled "like an accordion", the front windshield has a huge, gaping hole in it, and there's glass everywhere. Liz can only identify it by looking for either of the bumper stickers that Ken has on the back of his car. One simply says Sweet Valley High, the other says, Honk If You Love the Gladiators. This is the one Liz sees part of.


• Skip Harmon is Jessica's date to Amy's party and she likes that his "fire-engine-red" Ferrari matches her dress exactly, but she quickly grows tired of Skip going on about the car and how gorgeous and lucky he is. Jessica later describes him as worse than Bruce, which is saying something.


• Liz and Todd are leaving Amy's party at quarter to midnight, and Jessica bums a ride when she can't stand Skip anymore.


• The officer at the scene of the accident doesn't seem at all familiar with Ken, which seems a bit odd since SV is supposed to be pretty small, all things considered, and usually football is BIG. He has to look at Ken's license and read his full name and address to the twins and Todd. Kenneth Matthews, 1512 Azalea Court in case you needed to send flowers. ;)


• I'm guessing Todd isn't considering Ken his best friend since Todd's reaction isn't really much of anything. Winston gets more airtime as Ken's friend.


• Amy wants all her guests to leave before Ken comes back to the party so that they can be alone for awhile before her parents return from L.A. where they went to see some play.


• Of the small group of guests left at the party when Todd and the twins return to break the news about Ken, only Aaron is mentioned.


• Amy immediately wants to rush to the hospital, but Liz talks her out of it. The next day when Amy and Jessica actually do go to the hospital, they still can't see Ken, and Amy continues to act like an ass after Ken's mother leaves them. Then, when Ken can have visitors but they've discovered he's blind, Amy freaks out and refuses to see him.


• Sunday, after the accident, Ken is listed as critical but stable, and he woke up around eleven in the morning. He's still unable to have visitors while in the ICU, which isn't a surprise.


• Ken's mother is described as tall and pretty. Later, Liz will describe the Matthews as both being very nice.


• Monday at school, Amy is rocking the huge-ass sunglasses indoors look because she's been crying so hard.


• Amy keeps referring to Terri as "that girl Terri" and blames her for Ken's accident, and she really goes off on her when Ken's blindness is revealed.


• When Amy does go nuclear, no one stands up for Terri, even though Jeffrey is standing right there. So disappointed, French. I expect better of you.


• Terri miraculously hadn't heard about Ken's accident from anyone for the entire weekend. I find it odd that it wouldn't have even been in Monday's paper since Ken is a Big Freakin' Deal in HS sports.


• Dr. Arquette is Ken's doc at the hospital. In order to treat some of Ken's wounds, they had to shave his head.


• Amy visits Ken after school Monday and for at least a second she considers how romantic it would be (as well as ironic) if it was Ken's accident that finally brought them together. This means she acknowledges how distant he seemed, even when she planted a big ol' kiss on him at the party.


• To learn how to cope with being blind, Ken is sent to Hollyfield rehabilitation center for a month.


• While at Hollyfield, his counselor is Ron Jablonski.


• Amy brings Ken a plush SVH football but she leaves without giving it to him when Jessica informs her that Ken is blind.


• There are 68 steps from Ron's office to Ken's room at Hollyfield.


• Amy sent Ken two letters during his first week at Hollyfield. He can identify them because of the scented envelopes she used.


• Ken's favorite card is from the football team because it's shaped like a football and has actual laces.


• Other cards came from Mr. Collins, Coach Schultz, the Wakefields, Cara Walker, oh, and Olivia Davidson. [/squee]


• When Ken returns to school, Winston helps him around for the first day. Ken is only a little bitchy towards Winston when Win holds onto him the wrong way. You've got to lead the blind, Egbert, not the other way around.


• Ken's homeroom is 210 with Mr. Traviano. Mr. Traviano talks really loudly and Ken tries to sort of politely inform him that he's blind, not deaf. Only he just embarrasses his teacher in front of the whole class. D'oh.


• In English class, Ken's tape recorder freaks out during Cara's poem, French is okay, chem lab is pretty useless since Ken can't visualize the reactions Russo is describing, and History involves Amy blowing Ken off completely.


• At lunch, Ken decides to go outside and avoid people. Before Scott and Skip notice him, Ken overhears them discussing how Amy's throwing herself at Scott who happens to be the new QB for the football team.


• Before Ken can completely go insane, Terri stumbles across him and goes on about the magnolias and how nice they smell. Funny, I never really think of magnolias and SV without there being some crazy southerner running around trying to kill one of the twins.


• Big Mesa got a new coach when Redner quit after his team was doing so horribly. The new coach from LA lead them to victory against Palisades 17-6. Terri goes on some more about football, but I got bored.


• Liz cribs ideas from movies she's seen. When Terri mentions how Ken freaked out at the end of their conversation, Liz suggests that Terri blindfold herself to see how life must be for Ken.


• Terri does this for an hour the next day. Show of hands, how many of you also did this at least once? Bonus points are awarded if you did this after/because of reading this book.


• The twins arrange a surprise party at lunch for Ken. With donations from other students, mostly Bruce, they order a chocolate sheet cake from Delano's Bakery (Ames assures us they make the best cakes) that says, "Welcome Home, Ken!" Party starts at 12:30 in the cafeteria.


• Despite making such a generous donation, Bruce backs out of the party by saying he lost a filling and has to go to the dentist at noon to have it replaced.


• Lila's a bit of a bitch about going to the party but she goes anyway.


• Amy says she didn't know about the party, doesn't seem interested in going, and still appears but wasn't going to say hello until someone busted her. Fuck you, Slutton. Just because the guest of honor is blind, it doesn't mean everyone else in the room is.


• Jeff has American History with Ken and teases him about snoring in class.


• Terri's mom drives a blue Volvo which Terri borrows frequently when she and Ken start hanging out.


• Terri takes Ken to North Haven beach, a place Ken says he hasn't been to since he was a kid.


• SVH loses their last game of the year when Scott drops back to pass and no one is open. Good going, Trost.


• When Ken realizes how much he's come to care for Terri, he starts to act like a real asshole because he's sure she'd never feel the same way about him since he's BLIND.


• There's a big thing involving Terri botching her confession (I love you, Ken!) and then Ken takes the bus to their beach to apologize for being a jackass to her and taking advantage of her time and to confess that he's totally in love with her, too.


• Ken can see the sun enough to know when it's hiding behind a cloud. This has always struck me as a bit odd in determining that his sight is coming back, but hey.

Quotable SVH:
  Fortunately, just at that moment the door bell rang, and John and Jennifer burst in, followed by Kristin, Shelley, and Shelley's boyfriend Jim Roberts. "Hi, everybody!" John shouted. "You can start the party now. We're here!" - I am highly amused by the B/C list characters doing this. Well played. p14

  "Well, my dear, not only do we have room, but we have California's finest chauffeur tonight," Winston said. "Here's James now."
  "Hi, Terri," Ken said. - I'm a dork. I think this is cute. p23

  Ken thought again of the way Amy had acted toward him at the party. He didn't want people to get the impression he belonged to her, because he didn't.
  Ken wasn't ready to go with anybody-and certainly not with Amy, who was anything but the steady type. She had dated more guys since she had transfered to Sweet Valley High that year than Ken could remember. - Remember, class, the difference between Amy and Annie is that Annie put out. Amy just changes boys in mid-date. p30

   "I'm talking about luck. Let's face it, not many guys are as good-looking as I am. Hey, I can't take the credit for that. Looks aren't something you achieve, you're born with them."
   Jessica leaned forward on the couch so Skip couldn't see the look on her face. She rolled her eyes to the ceiling and mimed a silent scream. - Oh, Skip, you can achieve your looks with a good plastic surgeon or if you're as diet friendly as Robin, right? (Also, I love the mental picture Jessica's reaction invokes.) p32

  "Bye, Amy. This was a great party. Say good night to Ken for me, will you?" Jessica asked. "I'm really sorry I have to leave. But I can't stand being around Skip anymore," she added in a whisper.
  Amy giggled knowingly and gave Jessica a little hug. "I'll call you tomorrow, and you can tell me all about it," she said. - This is probably the only time I like Amy the entire book. p35

  "Did you guys know that Skip was a child genius? He kept telling me about his his IQ was the highest in the state when he was five years old."
  "So what happened to him?" Elizabeth joked. "He's not exactly Honor Society material now." - Ooh, low blow, Liz. I like it. p36

  He wouldn't be known for all the wonderful things he could do, but for all the things he would never do again. - p84

  It wasn't like Jessica to be so insensitive. - Really, Liz, where the hell were you for the start of the series? p102

  Elizabeth told herself she shouldn't have been surprised. She knew how self centered Amy was. - Wow, Liz, you really are pretty bitchy in your thoughts, huh? p103/104

  Enid looked as though she was about to punch Lila...- This tickles me. I don't know why. p104

  "You know," Enid remarked as they watched him go, "I've said it before and I'll say it again. Lila and Bruce would make a perfect couple!" - See? Enid is wise! p105

  "Anyway, I wouldn't worry about Ken right now. If you ask me, it's Scott Trost who's got the problem!" - the problem Liz is referring to? Dating Amy. Again, low blow, Wakefield. Excellent. p115



Fashion:
  Although the Wakefield twins were identical, it was always easy to tell them apart because they dressed so differently. Jessica was wearing a short black miniskirt, a bright red blouse, and matching red shoes. p12 (she also happened to be color coordinated with a red Ferrari.)




   Over time I'd forgotten how much I actually like That Fatal Night. It was one of the later additions to my collection so I haven't re-read it all that often, which meant this was a refresher course for me. The book holds up pretty well after all this time. It's funny and a little sad, but it doesn't dwell too much, partly because it really doesn't have time to.
  Terri's pretty sweet and she's not your traditional girl-girl, but she's also not full on tomboy either. She just really enjoys the game of football, although not as much as Claire Middleton will later on. I like that she feels like an outsider in the SVH hierarchy because who can't relate to that? Also, she has a nice little moment with John and it's one of the few scenes that you don't really get to read any of his darker moments into, and I appreciate that.
   I admit I'm biased when it comes to Ken. I don't really know how I felt about him as a kid, but whenever they decided to pair him up with Jessica? Instant love, and it works retroactively in the series, too. A big part of the love might have to do with how nice Ken is until the end of the book when he's begun to take Terri for granted (but let's be honest, no one else is even trying to hang out with him. How weird is that?) and trying to push her away at the same time. Go figure.

   This book pretty much puts my loathing of Amy on full display. Why are these people friends with her? Why is she popular? EVERYONE thinks she's flighty, too flirty for her own good, and incredibly self-centered. And these are the people she's supposed to be friends with. Amy basically took over the role of the bitch with very little redeeming value when they realized they couldn't have Jessica be that way (like she is in the beginning of the series), and since she's not the head of the group, I guess she's left to be the one to carry out the bitchier duties of the clique. Except no one seems to be asking her to, she's taken the initiative. I can't help but think middle school Amy would DIE if she knew how she turned out.
  Also, it kind of makes the Ken/Amy hookup awkward considering how much they liked one another in middle school and how much Ken doesn't return the feeling with new!Amy. Hunh. Weird how continuity works for Ken since it would make sense for him to be less of a jerk to people, even though his football position means that he could, what with all the crap he got for being so freakin' short when he was younger. But Amy... oh, Amy. Did anyone stop to see if she had her own evil twin who took over her life when she moved out East? Because it would explain a lot, now that I think about it...

  Can we take a moment to wonder what in the hell is going on with Ken's looks? Depending on the angle you hold your book, he goes from looking vaguely good looking (or at least enough that you're pretty sure the model was probably handsome or possibly even just cute) to "this is the last face you see before you die" scary. o_O